1. Liberals tend to be tens of thousands of dollars in debt.but there's hope:
2. Many liberals are unemployed truck drivers with no health benefits.
3. The education system is failing the children of liberals, all of whom are flunking out.
4. Liberals cannot control their children.
But bad as things are, they could be worse. Over on the Howard Stern show, they're selling an apparatus that will allow you to shave your back hair all by yourself. No more embarrassing trips to the barber shop, and no more begging your girlfriend to shave your back. They even promise it will make you smell better, as Howard's listeners' backs are not only prodigiously hairy, but painfully malodorous.
I can't speak as to the political persuasions of regular Stern listeners, but I'm not likely to join their ranks anytime soon. After all, as a card-carrying liberal I have massive personal debt, the endless job search, and my uncontrollable failing children to deal with.