Three Soviet prisoners were put into the same jail cell. The first said, "I was always late to work, so I was accused of stealing from the people."

The second said, "I was always early to work, so I was accused of brown-nosing."

The third said, "I was always on time to work, so I was accused of wearing a Western watch!"

The U.S. equivalent:

Three executives convicted under anti-trust law were sitting at the same table in the prison cafeteria. The first said, "I charged more than others and was convicted of price-gouging."

The second said, "I charged less than others and was convicted of predatory pricing."

The third said, "I charged exactly the same as everyone else and was convicted of collusion!"