Monday, April 13, 2009

Don Surber imagines Barack Obama back in elementary school

Here's a bit of it:

His math skills seem to be slightly deficient. The other day, in preparation for the standardized test, I asked the students the usual “Train Leaving Chicago” question. He said the answer was to bail out both railroads.

When I told him this was far from the correct answer, he said that this was a problem left over from George, who was a student who transferred to Texas during the semester break when your grandson transferred in.

He refused to say another word until I brought the lectern to his desk. After that he seemed happy. I decided that he does better with the lectern, so that explains why it now sits next to his desk.

He calls it LOTUS.

Must be some sort of family joke that I don’t get.


The coach said he is a fine addition to the basketball team. The only drawback is he cannot seem to understand that when he makes a basket, it counts the same as a basket made by anyone else.

I am not so sure that he is quite as aware as he should be about American culture. The other day, our sixth-grade team traveled to another school to play its rival. He quickly became popular with the members of the other team by apologizing for our team’s past victories.

Then he did not seem to understand why they elbowed him and pushed him around during the game anyway.

We absorbed our worst drubbing in years.

For some reason, he has become a Pittsburgh Pirates fan this spring.

Except for these small things, your grandson is adjusting well and he is an excellent student who makes friends quite easily.

P.S. The cafeteria lady would like to have a word with you. It seems your grandson insists on buying everyone’s lunch and the bill is getting quite high. I’m sure you are good for the money.

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