Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Michael Lewis rounds up oaths, by Wall Street shop

I found it slightly more funny than snarky, but be warned: there are heaping amounts of the latter.

Here is are examples:

-- The Oath of Hedge Fund Man:

I pledge to short the credit spreads of only those public corporations and great nations that truly are doomed.

I thus pledge to accelerate Darwinian forces that elevate the strong and destroy the weak.

And even though that should be enough goodness for one lifetime, I pledge to bid generously for the sexier items at the next Robin Hood auction.

Warren’s Warranty

-- The Warren Buffett Oath:

I pledge, even in the privacy of my own bedroom, to seem nothing like the abovementioned hedge fund manager.

I pledge to remain the go-to moral compass of the American money culture.

To that end I pledge to learn less than I typically do about the Wall Street businesses in which I invest, so that, after they are discovered to have lied, cheated or stolen, I can plausibly claim to have known nothing about it.

Specifically, I pledge to remain unable to find the corporate headquarters of Moody’s Inc. on a New York City map. (Really, I have no idea where the place is!)

No comments:

Post a Comment