When you're in Texas look behind you

Via Felix, some good things to know from the Epicurean Dealmaker about Chuck Norris:

• Chuck Norris does not mark to market. The market marks to Chuck.
• Chuck Norris does not go bankrupt. Chuck Norris ruptures banks.
• Funds that pay Chuck Norris 2 and 20 survive; others don’t.
• Chuck Norris does not believe in leverage. Chuck Norris believes in crowbars.
• No-one defers Chuck Norris’s compensation.
• No-one subordinates Chuck Norris. All his equity is preferred.
• If Chuck Norris devised the bank stress tests, not even the Treasury Department would survive.